I just had my bachelor party this past weekend. It’s my second one. The first was 16 years ago for my first wedding. The two, you can safely assume, were vastly different from one another. Each time, we all spoke about how we were going to “party hard”. As it turns out, the definition of “partying hard” is different when you are 40 than it is when you’re in your early 20s. When I reflected for a few moments about each one, I came to the conclusion that, at age 20 you ‘party hard’ while, at 40, you ‘hardly party.’
And what a welcome change it is. This last party earned a nice respectable “PG” rating, as opposed to the “R” rated parties we hear so much about. We shot pool for a few hours while having a few beers and then off to a Brazilian steak house (you know the type; the gauchos come along with skewers of meat) for an all-you-can-but more-than-you-safely-should eat dinner. Great food, great drinks, and even better friends – it was, without a doubt, the finest evening out I’ve had in years.
Anyway, before anyone accuses me of being a stick in the mud or, worse, “old”, I want to offer my advice on the 5 key things when planning your party:
- To the best man or maid of honor doing the planning: ask the groom or bride what they want to do. Getting trashed and forgetting what happened may be a fitting statement on your view of marriage but your best friend has chosen to take on the wonderful commitement of marriage. Honor their decision: they’ll always remember the great party you threw.
- To the bride and groom: for this one night, don’t impose your morals or make demands on your partner. Doing so will result in one of only two conclusions. They will respect your wishes and harbor resentment or ignore them and harbor the seeds of distrust. Either way, it’s not a great way to start your life together. If you don’t trust the other person to be alone with their friends this close to your wedding, there are other issues that you need to deal with.
- To the bride and groom: keeping the second item in mind, respect your partner and, before you do something you know they won’t like, ask yourself if you really need to do it.
- As a photographer, this is hard to say but here goes: leave the cameras at home. I believe pictures need to be art. Not evidence.
- Have fun! This is the time to let loose and enjoy the camaraderie of your close friends (and all the new friends you just made at the bar).
I can tell you some wild and crazy stories from bachelor parties but I’ve been sworn to secrecy.
