Easily the scariest part of any wedding planning is the guest list. Who should you invite? Who can you leave off? At first, this exercise always seems quick and painless. Indeed, at the start, it IS easy. Coming up with the names of people you absolutely want to have there is fun and exciting. Coming up with the names of the people you have no intention on inviting is also pretty simple – sure he was your father’s college roommate but that was 30 years ago and they’ve never really spoken ever since that thing with you know who and you know what that one time…
Then terrible, awful word starts creeping into the conversation: “should”. “If we invite ________, then we should invite ____________. Of course, since we’re now inviting ________ because we should, we should also invite ____________. Which means we should… And suddenly you find yourself dad’s old college roommate.
Where, oh where does it end? My personal theory is that if you manage to find yourself inviting Kevin Bacon, you’ve reached the six degrees of separation and you have definitely gone too far.
In my experience, figure out the kind of wedding you want, figure out (and follow) your budget. That will decide how many people you can afford to have attend.
Sadly, some people will feel offended that they weren’t invited but, remember, that your wedding is about you, not them.
Here are some suggestions:
- if you can’t invite everyone (or even most) invite just a few and have a big party shortly after. A backyard BBQ (BYO, of course), meet people at a restaraunt or bar for drinks…
- Cut back on the menu if it makes the difference between inviting almost everyone you want and everyone you want. People will remember the good times, not what they ate or drank.
- Don’t send out separate invitations for the ceremony and the reception. You will spend a lot of time explaining to people that they are invited to the ceremony only and then there is the awkward moment of telling them they can’t come to the reception.
- Finally, stand firm. Like I said, it is your wedding and true friends should understand.
